i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
