There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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