I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
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