i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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