this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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