Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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