I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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