walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
