I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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