Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
false alarm. still invincible.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize