he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
