you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
