I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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