so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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