No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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