I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The air was thick with penises
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
