I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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