loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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