do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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