I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
