She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
