his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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