If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
