i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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