Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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