Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
