dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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