If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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