i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
