You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
