i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
