I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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