Soap is not a condiment
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
