that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
