yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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