It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
