carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Duck Duck Cougar?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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