You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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