We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He shit in the fireplace
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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