She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
