I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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