I like my sex mixed with concussions.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
