please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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