why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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