This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
