yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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