hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
