I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
