i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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