I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I need to calm my uterus...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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