Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
