Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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