why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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