Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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