Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize