ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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