how do flat chested girls get laid?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
