I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
