i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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