When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
